Psychotherapy and Client Resistance

 

The young woman was in excruciating emotional pain. She'd moved from one failed relationship to another, from one dead-end job to another. The inner distress was building to a crescendo. Gathering the support of a friend, the two approached a very busy man known to work wonders. diversity training

The busy man listened to their stories, took a few moments and then said, "I will only work with you if you do everything I ask." The woman said, "Yes! Anything." The second said, "You're not going to make me journal, are you? I hate journaling." family therapy

The first person is a therapist's dream. The second one is the nightmare. One of the most frustrating parts of a mental health professional's job is to give suggestion after suggestion and the answer is, "Yes, but..."

The clinical term for "yes, but" is resistance.

You will hear experts in all areas express their wonderment and frustration at people who choose not to replicate what has worked. Why spend time and money, sometimes a great deal of money, and refuse to do what the "expert" suggests? family therapy near me

There are two primary reasons.

The first is misplaced pride.

Pride for a job well-done and in your accomplishments is great. However, when the world is shaken because someone offers a suggestion not liked, even though the suggestion has been proven to work, healthy pride is not at work. Depression treatment

The second reason people don't listen dovetails with pride. That is fear.

Anxiety that if someone knows more than them, something is wrong with them.

Terror that if this doesn't work then nothing else is left to try.

Many people have a difficult time trusting. They will often search for answers on the internet, then, when the therapist says something different, question the therapist. The fear of trusting can present another area of resistance. existential psychotherapy

Productive use of an expert involves accepting that someone may know something more than you in this particular area. You also need to realize that lack of knowledge is not failure.

Yes, each person needs to take responsibility for themself. Every client needs to follow their own inner knowing. There comes a time when the client has to trust the therapist.

Once the client is as comfortable as possible with the therapist, it is time to trust. If you are the client, and you find yourself challenging every suggestion, it's time to ask several questions:

"Can I trust the person I've come to for help?

"Do I really want what I'm paying good money to get?"

If the answers are "yes," it's time to accept and try what is suggested.