Living A More Complete And Satisfying Life

 

The emphasis these days has become very much upon the external world, with people focusing upon material wealth and consumerism. However, alongside this, people seem to be becoming more unsettled, disconnected (from themselves and others) and generally unhappy. In the quest for "the perfect life", with the perfect body, house, job etc, people appear to be more lost and confused. They then get to internally berate themselves as they "have everything" and still are "not happy". People often then take this to mean that there is something wrong with them as they "should be happy". Also, the people in their lives are also giving them the same message, which exacerbates the situation. The clue is in what is being focused upon.

It is about narrowing the gap between the external, (material) world and the internal (experienced) world. If I am just buying things and entering consumerism in order to impress, control or compete with others, how can what I'm doing ever make me happy. I am conforming to some external pressure and not taking myself into account. Internally I will become bored, dissatisfied, maybe angry and disgruntled (but may not know why). the marriage counselor There are several parts to our personalities and part of us may not be fulfilled by the conforming to external expectations. Therefore, in order to feel more connected with the outside world, we also need to be aware of becoming more connected with ourselves and our internal worlds. It is a very different process when we begin any decision with taking the time to notice our wants, needs and feelings as a priority before we consider anyone else, the world or conforming to other peoples norms. Some may think this is a selfish approach. I would disagree.

I believe it is unhealthier to present a mask to the world, not fully connect with others and go through the motions of a happy life. By doing this, I am not fully sharing myself with others and neither do they really know me or what is going on for me. They will also pick up my dissatisfaction if they spend enough time in my company, even if I don't say anything!

Some basic questions to ask ourselves are:

How do I feel about that?

What's happening in my body when I say yes/no?

How can I share how I feel with others?

It is also important to know that if we take responsibility for our own feelings, then there is a requirement for others to do the same. Therefore, the positive side is that we are not responsible for someone else's feelings and the other side of this  are responsible for our own feelings and taking the action we need to take in order to deal with them. This all takes practice, if we are used to placing others and the external world before ourselves. diversity training There are various self-help courses and theories that can assist us with this process. However, sometimes working through this stuff with a supportive person is the most helpful. That's where Counselling and Psychotherapy can be really helpful in facilitating our growth and development, especially because we can have direct feedback and build a healthy relationship in the process. It is a relationship which requires a level of honesty that may not have been experienced before.